Presenting: Just like a walk in the park!

“It is not what you look at that matters, it is what you see.” -Thoreau

“Everything has beauty.” -Confucius

First, I want to say that I deeply appreciate the participants who have experienced end contributed to this work as I continue in the process of developing my ideas and presentation of “Stepping Through Beauty” and about “the art of focusing oriented relational psychotherapy.” My interactions and connections with you nurture, inspire and fuel me on! Thank you very much for asking me to post more of my ideas.

ballentineI may need to write a blog about “public speaking phobias’ one of these days! I jumped past that seemingly insurmountable hurdle in May, presenting my ideas as part of the panel at the Third International Conference on Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapies in Stony Point, New York and this past Sunday for the Experiential Psychotherapy Program (EPP) in New York City. How do I get past my fear of public speaking? I focus on the ideas I want to develop and an experience of the meaning of beauty that I hope to inspire in you. This all feels much bigger than my fear. Thanks to your enthusiasm, presenting is becoming more like a walk in the park.

This is all part of journey I am on to integrate and honor creative process in my two passions: art-making and psychotherapy. For a long while, I took art classes on the weekends and became increasingly committed to practicing drawing every chance I had while learning to draw in the tradition of classical realism. In my psychotherapy practice, I longed for a way to better integrate my passions and remembered some poetic words that came to me in a dream: “Every moment of stepping through God I am born.”

These words inspired an experience of the beauty of nature and creativity as the “river that runs through” everything meaningful in my life. It is a constant in art, as I work from life and do studies from nature, and in my work as a focusing-oriented psychotherapist, as I experience beauty in each of my clients, human nature and relationships.

Here is a poem I quoted at the EPP event. It speaks to these ideas and says so much more than it appears to in just a few words:

Izumi Skikibu (a Japanese writer from more than a thousand years ago):
Although the wind.
Blows terribly here,
the moonlight also leaks
between the roof planks
of this ruined house.

Here are of the “still-formulating” ideas I presented at the EPP event, not in any particular order:

1. The experience beauty in nature, ourselves and others is essential to our sense of well being, connection and belonging.

2. However our traumas, histories, patterns, brokenness and situations limit our capacities to relate, the  beauty of nature is forever holding us in its larger non-duality, in which we are all organically related and connected.

3. A “focusing attitude” of kindness and openness has a tonal quality. I experience and come to know myself most fully when  the “listening tone” of the person listening to me creates space for my deepest experiencing levels. A client experiences and may cone o know themselves more fully and as more beautiful than they knew through the “listening tone” and reflections of their therapist.

4. What a person experiences and says, and how and what we hear, matters. Experiencing the beauty in any thing and any moment enhances life.

5. The beauty of focusing oriented relational psychotherapy is in the experience and potential of the therapeutic relationship to hold both client and therapist “whole bodily” in states of creative possibility in the unlimited non-dualistic magnificence and vast mystery of nature and human nature.

6. In the fine arts and the fine art of psychotherapy, the illumination of the felt sense nurtures our deepest and darkest places. Great art and great psychotherapy are elegant expressions of bodily felt experience, connecting us in the flow of nature and life.

7. Receiving and reflecting the beauty that exists within another person (that might otherwise go unnoticed) is a highlight of relational psychotherapy. As therapists, at our bests, we are the clearest of reflective pools.

8. We create the “kinds of interactions”/experiences that re-place all of us in the creative flow of life and largest healing contexts: the beauty of nurturing relational experience and the natural universe.

9. We are much more our “plant bodies” (Gendlin) than we usually remember.

10. Dying may awaken us to the inherent beauty of nature.

11. Beauty is the antidote to suffering and trauma.

For more about how I integrate what I learn from what I practice, please read my chapter in “Defining Moments for Therapists”. You may read the PDF for free here: and my article in the November 2014 issue of “The Folio”, easily accessed at

“Ballentine Park” (Oil) © Robin Kappy 8/2013

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Practice Makes…

“Beauty and wonder are about us all the time. I don’t always see it myself either. But amazing things appear sometimes if we pay attention.” -Mcclain Moore

ImageAs a practicing psychotherapist, my attention is engaged with people, listening, empathizing, sensing, thinking, philosophizing, interacting, challenging self-exploration and, sometimes, very deep feelings.  The practice of drawing and painting affords me the opportunity to observe, study and work in states of quiet, focused solitude with the beauty,  authenticity and subtle emotional qualities of a model, nature, scene or object.

Bodily felt experience is a natural process that informs each inter-subjective relationship and everything I do. As I challenge the limitations of my assumptions, seeking “the more” beyond them, I reach richer levels of experience, meaning and expertise as a psychotherapist and artist. My work as a therapist deepens with each relational experience and as I become a more confident person and artist. Being a psychotherapist has given me a sense of meaning and value that comes from personal and professional growth, study, exploration and human connection. Practice has surprising rewards.

The processes of clearing away distractions, listening deeply to others as a therapist and observing/studying when drawing or painting are more alike than some imagine, though the experiences and skill-sets are very different. Lessons are often interchangeable.  Both require I develop my powers of observation, “listen” to the whole big picture, witness and “draw upon” what I  “see” while understanding the deep inter and inner relationships of parts, colors, values, shapes and edges.

ImageThe nature in “human nature” is found in our felt sense. In nature, we place ourselves and our concerns in a bodily-felt broader context. Nature has the potential to reflect a sense of its beauty within us. Nature is creative. Nature nurtures. My clients sometimes come to see me when they feel apart from nature, depressed or anxious, their breath and bodies constricted and their field of vision narrowed. When I witness my client experiencing a bodily felt shift, expanding and moving through and forward, in and outside of the process of our work together, it is as though they can breath more openly, free to be nurtured by nature again. It is deeply satisfying.

In art, I am compelled by the process and benefits of study and watching my powers of active observation grow, clearly informed by my bodily felt sense. I suppose you might say I enjoy human nature as a therapist and earthly nature as an artist.  We are part of the beauty of nature after all, and  is easy to find parallels and threads if we look for them.

My drawing and painting skills developed by practicing on my own and in continuing ed classes and workshops, where excellent teachers and classmates guide and inspire. The rewards of my drawing and painting practice can be seen in the finer quality of my current work, and in the support, reflections and responses I receive from others.

I applied for “The Hudson River Fellowship” in two previous years, having spent a long time considering my application, and had not been accepted.  Sponsored and judged by masterful art teachers at the highly respected Grand Central Academy of Art, the submission process includes a statement of intent and submission of several images of drawings and paintings indicating interests, passions, skill level….and birthdate. Understanding the youthful and supremely talented competition, I was doubtful I would get the chance to participate and almost did not apply.

ImageAt the very last minute, I could not resist my wishes and sent off my application, having written my current statement of intent and chosen my images without labor, straight from the heart. I  am more ready for the  fellowship this year, with a sense that my work and I have grown mature enough for to make the best use of intensive study. When a very unexpected email arrived with the title “Congratulations!,” weeks after posting my recent application, I was so taken by surprise I almost yelped with excitement.  I am very honored to say, I was accepted as one of 24 artists chosen for the 2013 “Hudson River Fellowship”: three weeks contemplating the paths of the great Hudson River School painters and immersion in drawing and painting nature in the New Hampshire landscape.

I live in the city. This will be a great opportunity for being away from the streets of home, interacting with inspiring artists and comparing notes. I expect the work will require open, wide-eyed energy, all of the drawing and painting “chops” I have, a childlike wonder of nature and it’s changing conditions, perseverance, and enough physical strength and flexibility for hiking and carrying equipment. Most importantly, I look forward to being in and with nature, to placing myself fully within its beauty and vastness.

A bit shy, three weeks does seem like a long time to spend with others I do not know, in a somewhat rustic setting. I plan a shift into “low maintenance mode” when it comes to accommodations. However, I am much looking forward to all of the challenges. It begins July 15th and I am obviously already beginning to prepare.

I have all sorts of ideas and concepts for professional and creative projects I have yet to start.  I am trusting my practice and experience will meet at a cross roads and I will begin to bring my professional and artistic visions to fruition over the next year. The fellowship will give me a chance to study and gather more of the readiness I need. I am sure to return to my clients, nurtured by the landscape, wanting to listen and “see” what is just up ahead,  through the light entering the forest wall.

“Sagamore Hill Tree” (Oil Painting) © Robin Kappy 8/2012

“Sketch of a Young Man” (Pencil) © Robin Kappy 7/2012

“Sunset” (Photograph) © Eileen Kaufman 8/2011

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I am a Radio Personality!

“The person who has lived the most is not the one who has lived the longest, but the one with the richest experiences.” – Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Doug Gunther of Woodstock Radio in Woodstock New York came upon my blog and invited me to be an interviewee on his popular show, and to contribute to a blog he will be producing in 2013. In addition to my highlighting this blog, Mr. Grunther discussed my work as a Focusing Oriented Relational Psychotherapist. This was a wonderful experience and I am grateful to Mr. Grunther for the opportunity to speak about the things that matter to me and, in particular, about Focusing. I hope you will enjoy listening to me speak of my ideas, work and focusing:

Woodstock Radio 100.1/December 9, 2012: Robin Kappy on the Radio 12:9:12

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The Good Enough Orchid

“We can think of our linguistic and situational knowledge not as separate and floating, but as elaborations of our already intricate plant-bodies. In this way we can think how the living body knows (feels, lives, is …..) its situation from inside. But what is a situation? A situation is never just something external.” -Eugene Gendlin

I am guessing it was at least 10 years ago. While busy doing other, much more concrete things, a dear friend and I spontaneously decided to visit the Annual Orchid Show here in NYC. We walked through the extensive displays, stunned  by the exquisite variety of shapes and colors. As is my way, I also observed the people around me; we bumped shoulders in the rows, and cleared space for one another to have whole moments with each ephemeral labellum.

An area of the showroom was devoted to an orchid shop and a myriad of items for growing them. After seeing so many fine and soft growing things, I was immediately intrigued by the hard wooden boxes stuffed with earthy bulbs asking to be planted in fresh soil. With barely any confidence at all, and a few basic instructions from the kind cashier, I chose to take one home.

Hopeful, I gently potted the bulb as soon as I returned to the apartment where I then resided in the West Village. I tried to offer it all the conditions it required, though this was nearly impossible with my creaky, leaky old alley-facing wooden window. None the less, I did my best to water and feed the little plant. It grew several lovely, healthy-looking green leaves that seemed to want to remain about four and five inches long for many years to come…but no flower. I still considered it “my orchid.”

An anonymous quote appeared in an article this morning: “Depression and anxiety are not signs of weakness. They are signs of having tried to remain strong for way too long.” This got me thinking again about orchids and people as, you may have noticed, there are a number of similarities. Like orchids, people come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors, can be quite delicate, and require just the right care, attention, light, water, shelter and food to grow. Each part comes together to create the whole effect. Orchids are sexy, and while some people are seemingly more than others, we are sexy too. Both strive to be strong, and yet are vulnerable.

Thankfully, my orchid was not experiencing depression or anxiety during those earlier years. I occasionally was, when I thought myself inadequate. However, while I was trying very hard to remain strong and find meaning in my very personal inner struggles, I learned to be more caring and less critical of my weaknesses, transparent about and value my vulnerabilities. In the process, I was becoming a happier, more loving and cooperative friend and family member, attentive, skillful psychotherapist, productive artist and basic, decent human being.

OrchidWe moved to a new apartment in Chelsea a few years ago and have since placed “our” orchid in various windows. It gets watered and fed along with a odd ensemble of its cousins in varied pots and states. One day a few weeks ago, it suddenly flowered! Over 10 years, the soil had been good enough after all, and we are now enjoying two large, magnificent blooms! Meaning is in the soil; the flower is a bonus.

Photograph: “Our Orchid” by Robin Kappy. Image enhanced by Lorenz Fish.

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Holiday Blues…and Yellows…and Purples…and Reds…and…

“If you think you’re enlightened, go home and visit your family.” -Ram Dass

My mother died early one picture-perfect Christmas morning a number of years ago, as a lovely, gentle snow fell to the ground. It was not the best of times; my grief was painful, deep and confusing. It seems we cannot avoid  such experiences, when we reside in feelings of loss, shock, disappointment, anger, frustration and/or regret. I live in NYC and  imagine those who recently lost their homes in Hurricane Sandy feel all of this and …

riders in the rain-heurichAs the Holidays and New Year approach, various modern versions of “White Christmas” begin to echo through the airwaves, some people do not feel jolly at all. In my work. I meet people in such dark moments, when a sort of stubborn and hopeless fatalism may take over one’s ability to think broadly or feel encouraged. Many are stressed, tired, and reflect upon disappointments, inadequacies and failures, have difficulty sleeping well, and/or caring about or keeping up with tasks and traditions. When the holidays actually do come along, with a weight of ambivalence, they may spend time with friends and family members whose behaviors, communication styles and/or familiar unresolved issues help to dig the blues even deeper. Or, they feel isolated, while others seem more connected. Loneliness colors everything in gray.

One recent Sunday, under the shade of an awning on 6th Avenue, I saw a woman yelling at a small boxer. The dog wanted to sit and she, very impatiently, wanted to continue walking. Frustrated, she pulled hard at the leash, then stared down at the dog eye-to-eye and impatiently yelled “WALK!” at the cute-as-could-be animal, who only seemed to further settle into the concrete with each exclamation. I am sure you will agree with me, a seasoned psychotherapist with years of education and experience: this was not an effective strategy. My guess was, the dog needed to sit right where it was for a while before it joined the woman again. Perhaps the woman needed dog training skills. Then the woman gave up the struggle, sighed, and simply paused alongside for a few minutes. The boxer stood up, seeming to have completed a meditation, and walked towards the light side of the street with her.

Even doing one’s best to be on top of “the blues,” some go through the holiday season acutely aware of their own and/or others shortcomings. They may feel themselves to be in an imbalanced state of impatient, anxious depression, or as though they are frozen in time and someone is yelling “WALK” at them throughout the season. Some are in a state of fear that they are going to do the wrong thing and be attacked for it, or someone else will greatly disappoint their expectations. It is as though their nervous systems are either flatlined, stretched or on edge.  No amount of new-age holiday elevator music will help, and there is a gravitation towards corners and addictions. Often, when we feel this low, we simply need to sit, and have someone to sit by, to allow us time, to listen with kindness and appreciate how hard we are working to compensate for how low we are feeling. Kindness tips the balance towards the light and “the beautiful.”

While painting pictures, a balance of lights and darks make up the whole. With practice, this becomes easier to remember. When emotionally depleted, what brings us to reenter a flow of life, to notice the “more” beyond the darks that seems most apparent, to weave light, beauty and love through our hearts, experience and thoughts? There is a uniquely different answer for each person.

I have an art-instruction magazine on the desk in front of me, including an article titled  “Master Light and Perspective.” When learning to paint a picture, a teacher assists the student painter in choosing an angle from which to view and represent the light. When emotionally dark, before we can shift our perspective, we often need someone else to wait, listen, care, and point us towards the light (this is often where I come in).

It is my experience that light and beauty is always here, all around us: in others, in nature, in the air. We don’t often see it when we are sitting “in the mud” with the blues. Until we are ready to move from our fixed vantage point, we don’t see other colors. And yet, it is all here in and around us. Even when everything seems colored in gray or blue, we can observe and experience the beauty.

Photograph: “Riders in the Rain” © by Chris Heurich

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“Beauty saves. Beauty heals. Beauty motivates. Beauty unites. Beauty returns us to our origins, and here lies the ultimate act of saving, of healing, of overcoming dualism.” -Matthew Fox

Welcome to this focusing oriented ( exploration of the meaning and power of beauty in light and dark times. I invite you to join me in exploring, engaging with and experiencing “stepping through beauty.”

My heartfelt inquiry began in pencil drawing classes in NYC and an expanding awareness of beauty now weaves through my life and work as a psychotherapist. Each thread reflects upon various aspects of beauty, as I yearn for and deepen my felt-experience, understanding and appreciation.

Thank you for taking time with these pages (above) and posts (below). I have filled them with ideas and reflections, quotes, memoir and images of my own, along with other’s paintings, drawings and photographs for you to enjoy.

I hope your consciousness and experience of beauty is enhanced and deepened by your visit.

Please feel free to contact me if you have comment or questions.

With Gratitude,

Catskills Landscape (Oil Painting) © Robin Kappy 11/2011

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Drawing Lessons from Art School

“Genius is not a possession of the limited few, but exists in some degree in everyone. Where there is natural growth, a full and free play of faculties, genius will manifest itself.” -Robert Henri (The Art Spirit)

“Art school teaches one to observe carefully, describe precisely, find solutions to problems through experimentation, keep an open mind to all possibilities, and to accept withering critique in the pursuit of the not yet realized. These are the skills of adventurers, visionaries, and builders of a future we cannot yet fathom.”
-Kit White (101 Things to Learn in Art School)

Though I attended Parsons School of Design in the ’70’s, I am now a psychotherapist. I had not been drawing or painting for many years when I first walked through the doors of the New York Academy of Art (NYAA) in 2006 for a class titled “Beginning Painting and Drawing.” The teacher was an artist whose work I greatly admired, and I was quaking in my pencil box! I wanted to learn to draw and paint like a realist, and my expectations far exceeded my skill-level.

The lessons since have been of self-mastery and beauty, as much as pencils, paint and paintbrushes. My involvement in the learning process has been passionate. I take each of my teacher’s lessons to heart, artistically and metaphorically, and use them in my life and work as a psychotherapist as well.

My teachers encourage me to experience beauty while learning to draw and paint. One of the first lessons is to understand the beauty of chiaroscuro, the study of light and dark in drawing and painting. The lesson, essential for an art student, also serves me well in valuing the lights and darks of life. Light and dark need each other to make a whole of anything.

In art and life, our many preset assumptions reveal how much we do not know. I am still learning to “draw what I see, not what I think I see.” For example, when drawing a picture of an eye, a beginner will very often draw or paint the eye too round, wide or short, in a symbolic almond shape. Not until a teacher points out the numerous interacting shapes, colors and beautiful nuances in an actual eye, will the artist begin to observe and be inspired to practice drawing and painting what is actually there.

My art teachers have little patience for negating, non-constructive self-assumptions or self-criticism in their students. It gets in the way of the process, practice and joy of teaching, and learning  to draw and paint. Rather, “inner-critiques” are redirected towards developing intelligent questions, skills and a “discerning eye.” This requires a particular attitude of open, engaged inquiry, both in the moment and in the long-term service to one’s goals.

As a focusing-oriented person, my “bodily felt sense” directs me as I draw and paint. It inspires, informs and infuses my work with the felt-atmosphere of a moment by moment experience and relationship with my subject. The point of learning technique in art is to transcend it. The beauty is in experiencing the “stepping through” process.

Naturally, my expanding awareness is applied to my life and work. As I am gaining the skills of mindful observation for drawing and painting, I find myself able to listen more fully, and deeply value for myself and others.

Meeting another person, unrestricted by assumptions, is an invitation to be present, make room for the lights and darks, and genuinely relate. If we look for it in art and life, we see people in a beautiful light.

Still Life with Camera and Shell (Oil Painting) © Robin Kappy 11/2011

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The Pain Truth

“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain. ” -Alan Watts

“What I called “walking” was the part of the step when my foot met the sidewalk. From the point of view of the joints, that is the most stressful component of walking. The joints get a rest when the foot is in the air, just before it strikes the pavement. I found that by focusing on the foot that was in the air instead of the foot that was striking the pavement, my stamina increased enormously. After making this observation, I never again failed to climb the steps to knock on the front door of Zen Center.” -Darlene Cohen

I have been living with the physical and emotional pain of bursitis every day for a number of years. My intrusive companion is demanding and persistent. On my worst days, it insists on attention. It requires caring support, and I only want immediate relief. I thought it would go away on its own, was ashamed of it (as though it indicated something negative about me as a person), and withstood it silently for a long time before a dear friend insisted I find help for it. I have since tried every sort of solution, all with little effect. There may well be more types of pain than types of beauty. However, the caring I receive has helped me in relating to my pain as just one small part of my life.

I once had a phone consultation with Darlene Cohen (quoted above), who lived with and wrote about zen and the pain of severe arthritis. In addition to suggesting I focus more on the moments when I have no pain than on the moments with pain, she highly recommended temper tantrums. When pain is most physical, emotional and soulful, it and I occasionally need a pain-releasing-temper-tantrum, to roar my agony out loud.

On my best days, I give the pain kind attention, and it subsides to a distant background feeling. I lovingly apply ice and focus on satisfying, enlivening things: work, relationships, art and the activities of daily life. The pain eases as I engage in work, listening, relating, creative activities, having fun, and as I relax and sleep.

Physical pain has taught me much about how to listen, resonate with and give space to  emotional pain. Pain and emotion are natural responses to discordant situations. They implicitly express longings for something more than suffering, struggling and enduring: something beautiful.

I do want not to miss the ephemeral, fleeting or big beautiful moments. Because of my experience with pain, everything of beauty is more vividly so in comparison.

“Last Pose of the Night” (Pencil on Paper) © Robin Kappy 11/2011

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Age Sage

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

A Prayer for Old Age

God guard me from those thoughts men think
In the mind alone;
He that sings a lasting song
Thinks in a marrow-bone

-W.B. Yeats

“Wabi-sabi (侘寂?) represents a comprehensive Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete”. It is a concept derived from the Buddhist teaching of the three marks of existence (三法印 sanbōin?), specifically impermanence (無常 mujō?), the other two being suffering (dukkha) and emptiness or absence of self-nature (sunyata). Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, asperity (roughness or irregularity), simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes.” -Wikipedia (

Marty, then and now.

I moved to a new neighborhood three years ago. Soon after moving in, I went to the local grocery store one Tuesday to pick up a few staples. The young woman behind the counter asked me my age. “Why do you ask?,” I inquired. She kindly responded, “Well, Tuesday is senior citizen discount day.”  She told me one must be 64 years old to receive the discount. I was 55 years old at the time, and was taken aback by how my age appeared to her. 2009 was a few years too early to be perceived in this way by someone in their twenties! I then remembered that, before thirty, my perception was like hers; age was a mystery, more acquainted with death than beauty. I did not fully recognize the person inside the aging body.

Here I am at 58 years old. I have had many painful losses and a fear of death all of my life. The world has it’s fill of turmoil, terror and loss. And still, my experience with aging and recent explorations into the meaning and value of beauty have had an unexpected side-effect. I do not want to take the privilege and beauty of aliveness for granted, or the aging process that comes with it. I find myself still grieving my losses, while also deeply appreciating the people I love, the beauty in age…and fearing death a little less.

Image: Marty, Then and Now © Robin Kappy 11/2011

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Art and Psychotherapy

“One submits oneself to other minds (teachers) in order to increase the chance that one will be looking in the right direction when a comet suddenly cuts through a certain patch of sky.”  –Elaine Scarry (Beauty and Being Just)

While in painting and drawing classes, teachers offer valuable lessons to enhance each student’s mastery and work. We learn to paint with a full range of values, from the lightest light, to the darkest dark. Paintings are often primarily light or primarily dark. Just like people, both types are beautiful.

Elements in artistic expression (values, colors, composition, shapes…) may contribute to a sense of harmony and/or disharmony. The artist’s mastery of his/her medium(s) (oils, cameras, writing tools, musical instruments, etc) transcends theories and techniques in the service of beautiful works.

Elements in a psychotherapeutic relationship may contribute to harmony and/or disharmony in states of being, understanding, empathy, etc.  The therapist’s mastery of his/her medium(s) (his/her person, experience, relating, theories, listening, interpreting, etc) transcend theories and technique in the service of the therapeutic relationship and relationally beautiful moments.

Psychotherapy and art may each contribute to beautiful moments of:


-feeling deeply understood.

-natural, artistic, moral, playful, social, relational and/or spiritual renewal.

-states or qualities of symmetry and/or harmony.

-arrangements of parts into a unified whole.




-resonating experience (narrative, images, memories, senses, emotions)…

Painting (Mixed Media) © Lynn Preston 2011

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